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  • Writer's pictureRachel Bennett

Discovering "Why?"

So I've been on this health journey for about five years. And y'all… it's work. There's no easy way around it, no magic pill, all the power of positivity in the world wasn't going to make me eat right, work out, and really take care of all the mess in my head. It's work. And consistent work at that. Some days you want to go run a few miles and some days you wanna just veg on the couch. Some days you are looking forward to eating healthy because you know you feel so much better when you do and some days …. Let's face it… that bag of chocolate chips in the pantry wins the day. So what keeps us moving forward when we don't want to. It's our intrinsic "why". Our internal need and desire to make changes.

Today I was challenged to look at my "Why"… And as I looked at it I thought about how it's changed. In the beginning I was obese and my "why" was to lose weight so I could stop being embarrassed and because I had to prove to myself that I am as much a priority to myself as the rest of my priorities; family, work, etc. etc. But someone once said "Pain pushes until vision pulls." The pain of embarrassment or always feeling left behind, or not capable or much was that pain that pushed me to say "No More". I needed to make a change or I was just going to continue to fall apart.

2 years ago I got to my goal weight. And my "Why" changed again. It became more about being a good steward of this amazing healthy body that I've been able to create by maintaining my weight. It also became about sustaining a healthy lifestyle to model for son and his future family.

And now I'm starting over again and really revisiting my "Why". And that's a process…. Because I can't stop asking that simple, one-word question…. So much so that I'm sounding like Elmo from Sesame Street. So instead of asking myself "Why do I work every day on making healthy choices?" just once, I now ask it five times.

  • "Why?" - Because I want to live a long life without relying on medications and without pain like I saw my parents do

  • "Why is that important?" - Because I want to be able to travel and enjoy myself. Walks on the beach, or European cobblestone streets, should not leave me in pain by the end of the day. And I want to show my son, and his children a healthy Grandma.

  • "Why is that important?" - Because if I'm in pain I won't be able to enjoy what's around me

  • "Why is that important?" - Because life shouldn't be a struggle, it should be enjoyed

  • "Why is that

important?" - Because enjoying life is what makes me happy

As I think about this and write this, I find that I'm in the center of it. And some people may think that is selfish, but truly … well for me… it's not. If I'm healthy and happy, guess who benefits? Literally, everyone around me. Do I want my husband to constantly worry about me because I'm depressed about my weight? Do I want my child to wonder why Mom is always tired? Do I want my grandkids to remember me as a grumpy old woman that complains about aches and pains? Do I want my friends and family have to watch me wither away? Absolutely not! I wanna go out in a

blaze of glory!!! Just kidding. But I do want to live a long and healthy and fulfilled life. And I don't see that happening if I don't make health a priority for me. So yeah… I'm in the center of my "Why" and that's ok. Yours might be different from mind, and that's ok too.

Just as long as you have one.

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