I’m sitting here at my campsite, typing away because it’s something I love to do. And it’s been a while. At least months. The reminders on my google calendar keep going off every week saying “Did you write your blog post?” and I keep hitting ignore or whatever it is I have to click to get the reminder to go away. It’s not because I haven’t had much to say. I’ve had a ton! I always have a ton to say which is why I chose to blog in the first place. I literally have six or seven unfinished posts sitting on my desktop, open, reminding me every day that there’s something I started, but not finished. It’s a reminder daily that I have too much on my plate. At least so much on my plate where I can’t carve time out for a few hours a week to do something I love. So here I am. Doing another thing I love, which is getting outdoors, and spending time by a lake in the quiet and typing away while drinking a cup of coffee.
I made a promise to myself that if I had an opportunity to just sit and be quiet that I would not fill it with responsibilities or work. That I would journal and blog and really sit with my thoughts. I would pray and listen. I would be still and be ready to hear what I needed to hear. I told a few people that’s what I would do for accountability and I’m doing it. So here I am…. typing. And I love these first hours of the day when it’s just me. My son and his friend haven’t yet emerged from the comfy bunkbeds in our trailer that we purchased about a month ago. No one needs breakfast or for me to find something for them. It’s my time to do what I want.
We caught the camping bug during the COVID social distancing period and decided to rent an RV and get away from people for a while. It was awesome. I rained a bunch of the time but was still awesome. We spent nearly a week visiting two campsites that summer. And we said that we’d get a camper one day and do it more often. So, this year we did it. Finally. And I’m so glad that we did. We’ve booked RV sites across the southeast Texas area for the rest of the summer.
Here's what I love about camping. There are no events to make, no reservations to be on time for, no alarm clocks, no agendas. Just set up the campsite and relax. We all have our list of things we want to do, but for the most part it’s just a few days of having a “Let’s live” mindset. And I get to trail run! Which is so much easier than road running in the late spring and summer heat.
Of course, being an annoying healthy person, I planned some actual exercise and went running yesterday morning. It’s not unlike going for a run when I travel for work and sightseeing. It's one of my favorite things to do. I also meal planned so I can stay close to my macros. I’m in a deficit right now and getting some solid results so I don’t want to mess that up. (I’m sure I’ll post about my program right now and where my health is at soon… that’s a whole other blog post). But more than just what I’m eating and how I’m moving my body, these trips are more about resting my mind. Which I’ve needed…. Desperately.
This past school year has been a challenge. It’s not over yet, so this weekend was definitely needed to clear my head for the next few weeks of busy-ness. This year has been an experiment in over-commitment. I have a full time job as a manager in a large transportation company, I coordinate a large volunteer organization at my church, and this year I took on a position as treasurer on the Parent Teacher Organization at my son’s school. This is all on top of being a wife and a mother to an 11-year-old boy. And this year is his last year of elementary school. What I didn’t realize at the beginning of the year is how much I would want to be a part of everything! It’s his last year at his first school and so many “last times” for everything like his last field day, or last school 2k race, last Supper with Santa… there’s a long list y’all. I’ll spare ya. But it’s a lot. And I’m going to stop going into so much detail because honestly it doesn’t matter. We’re all busy with something. But there’s something that I have to make time for and that’s my mental and physical health. Because this last year I was starting to take the energy usually reserved for that and putting it into the business of caring for those around me. I wasn’t planning my workout splits, and I was even skipping the gym. I stopped meal planning and tracking what I was eating. And I wasn’t taking the time I needed to spend on things for me. And in the middle of this I am still going through perimenopause and already feel like a crazy person, so I know that putting the time and effort into what I eat, and my workouts is really important for this phase of my life. So how did this happen??? Well, there’s one thing we can’t create more of and that’s time. There’s only so much time and when it gets filled with responsibilities we start borrowing from other commitments. Things like sleep, showering, reading for pleasure, walking around the block, spending time with friends, and a list of other things I really enjoy doing just start going away and being replaced by work, balancing budgets, and frankly spending way too much time in front of my computer.
But I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned where my capacity is. And that’s important to know. How much really is too much? Or how much can I really do without my quality of life taking the hit? Or how much can I really juggle without going completely nuts. I definitely don’t need help in that department… I’m always teetering on some level of insanity.
So, now that I know, what’s next? Well, what’s next is that we do something about it. I stopped and took inventory of what was filling all of my time, and I began to evaluate. I like to use the 4-Ds: Delete, Delay, Delegate, & Do. The list of what I have committed to has to fit into one of these four categories.
Delete – What am I filling my time with that is absolutely meaningless and a waste of time? Scrolling when I should be sleeping is always the first thing that comes to mind. When I think of how much time I spend scrolling, I could probably take a nap. Or an extra half hour of needed sleep every night. It’s insane. I also decided to scale back on my health coaching for a time. I still have a handful of clients I spend time with weekly, but it’s the difference of 3 hours a week versus 15. It was a tough decision to make, but the right one. I didn’t want to give it up completely because it’s a passion of mine to help people. But for now, it’s been 80% deleted. I also gave my resignation for my volunteer position at church. It won’t be official until August but just having an exit plan has allowed me to free up some space in my head.
Delay – What can be put off until later? I do this with work all the time. And I’ve started to do it at home. I have a mindset that if something needs to be done, and I have the time to do it now then I’ll just do it. Even if it’s someone else’s job to do. If I have a free 5 minutes, I’ll rush to fit something else in. And it doesn’t have to be that way. I don’t have to rearrange my office today. It can be done another time. I don’t have to do the laundry this weekend. I can do it in between zoom calls on Tuesday.
Delegate - The toughest one for me is always “Delegate”. So that’s where my energy has been focused. What can be delegated at work? What can be delegated at home? What can be delegated at my son’s school? This goes back to that mindset of just doing something because it needs to be done. But I’ve started asking, “does this need to be done by me?” I’m constantly coaching my folks at work to ask more “should” questions than “could” questions. Just because I can, should I? It’s not always a yes. It might be taking someone’s primary job away from them or taking away an opportunity for someone else to shine. Or even taking away from your own primary function. And I should be coaching myself here too.
Do – This one is left. And honestly, the Do list is still really long. You’d think after all the evaluation it would be a nice and tidy list. But, if you’re anything like me (enneagram 3 – google it) there’s always so much to do. But the main rocks…. Those main things that take priority still have to live here. I can’t delegate my own exercise. I have to make time to go to the gym. I can’t delegate my own sleep. I have to get my head on the pillow before 10. And I can’t delegate my mind work. I have to take time to rest my mind, so I don’t feel so overwhelmed all the time. And then I get to fill my time with the other “do’s”. It can’t be the other way around. I DO have to take care of myself first.
And it’s the DO that makes this camping trip so great. On these trips I get to chill my mind, spend time with my family, and do the things I love.
Today we will pack up and head back home. And as soon as I unpack the RV, I’ll start packing up my suitcase for a week at a work conference and looking up restaurant menus for healthy options while I’m away. Doing the planning that’s needed to keep my goals in the “Do” category. And while the next few weeks are going to be non-stop, at the end of it will be another few days of camping at the beach. And those six or seven unfinished blog posts will probably be showing up soon. Maybe when I’m at the beach and can finish a thought. Or maybe while I’m on a plane this week going to work or coming home. We shall see. But until then I’m glad to be back writing.
Yegua Creek Park – April 2024
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