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  • Writer's pictureRachel Bennett

The home edit....

Where your focus goes energy flows right? When I focus on what I want to build and begin taking steps I can sometimes blink and see so much progress in the building. When I focus on what goes wrong I stay stuck. It sounds simple to just focus on the good, but it isn't always. Sometimes it's just tough. It's sometimes easier to dwell on the negative. I started to think about the word "dwell." As in, "dwelling on the negative." That's a scary thought when you really think about it. Your home is a dwelling. So if I am dwelling on the negative I'm making a home in that place. There's permanence in that statement. I hate bad circumstances so why would I want to build four walls around it and squat there? Isn't that how it is sometimes, though. Something gets us wound up in our own worry and fear and we can't shake it for days?


The last few months have been full of challenges. And yesterday they came to a head. The anxiety I fight often over the years just bubbled up and it felt familiar. It felt like an old dwelling, if you will. A place I used to live. It concerned me. For a minute, it actually scared me. I found myself moving toward old habits that no longer serve me. Truth be told, they never served me then because it was a clear case of emotional mismanagement. I found myself buffering. You know what buffering is? It's putting something between you and what you fear. I have three main buffers: wine, food, and shopping. Can you relate?


I actually walked into the kitchen looking for something to put in my mouth. Right now I'm super committed to my nutrition plan and nothing I reached for was what I really wanted and then I realized what was happening. I just wanted to put something in my mouth that tasted good because I would rather have the dopamine response from yummy food than the anxiety that I was feeling. BUT I TOOK ALL THE SUGAR AND PROCESSED JUNK OUT OF THE HOUSE!!! Whew. Dodged a bullet there. But the action was what concerned me. And I recognized that.


Two years ago, I didn't even know what buffering was. When I realized what it was I started to realize how much I did it. So now instead of buffering I try to process my emotions. I'm not always successful, but I try.


Don't make negative circumstances a place you want to live. Don't pay rent there. Talk to someone. It helps.


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